Dominance and Submission Spectrum

The Spectrum of Dominance and Submission

Dominance and submission are often linked together as though they always must occur in equal measure, but that is probably not typical. Dominance and submission as elements of erotic life occur as two opposing ends of a scale. If a situation has 75% submission, then only 25% dominance is required. The balance changes during interactions and the struggle between domination and submission can create a pleasurable tension in an erotic situation. While DS is very obvious in its presence in sexuality, it exists in many elements of social life. DS is found in compromise - in a pair of friends, one asserts a preference, or in another situation one friend actively yields to the preference of the other. Roles can be stable, but are not required to be fixed.

Dominance

The dominant is either given or takes authority over the submissive. Often dominants will set the plan for what happens in a situation. It is generally expected that the dominant will have control, but the dominant may also be the receiver of unprompted acts by a submissive that are designed to be pleasurable. Confidence is often a valuable attribute in a dominant, but can be built over time.

Submission

The submissive surrenders to the authority or control of the dominant, or actively performs acts of submission in an effort to please the dominant. Submission does not always require absolute obedience and sometimes resistance is part of the appeal. Submission requires generally accepting that the dom is empowered to control the situation

Trust

DS relationships and play sessions work based on trust. Trust can be built over time or it can be assumed when the partners first meet and then be adjusted as dom and sub evaluate each other through sessions. Trust allows the submissive to feel comfortable in giving themselves over to the control of the dominant. Similarly, the dom must trust that the sub will give honest feedback and will approach sessions open in their submission.

Collars & Symbols

Symbols... they creep up everywhere in kink. It is all social in a sense. Collars have been adopted by multiple facets of the BDSM and kink communities as a symbol of belonging, a symbol of rejection of social norms or as a method of identifying orientation. Collars are most prevalent as a 24/7 fixture in ownership situations, such as Master/slave play, but can be worn casually in other forms of play and sometimes outside of play on a limited basis.

The act of collaring is distinct to DS play. Typically the submissive participant is asked (or commanded) to kneel. Depending on protocol the submissive may be instructed to keep their eyes to the floor. The collar is then placed around the submissive's neck and locked or fastened. This act can be used as a symbol to begin play and serve as an indicator of situational roles.

Chain collars are most common in DS play and other areas of kink, especially if they are to be worn for longer than a few hours. Typically chain collars are not used for leading or tethering (bondage). Leather and steel collars are more common for those activities.

Role Play

There are a lot of social roles and many can be divided into hierarchical binary pairs. Many D/s role play sessions take the form of a Master and slave (M/s) relationship. This is often used as a model in the D/s community, but unfortunately does not represent the breadth of what is possible in role play or even in D/s play. The M/s relationship style dictates a responsibility to submit and obey on the submissive, whereas other relationship styles allow for more dynamic power relations. A more accurate analogy for D/s may be the pairing of hunter and prey. Each have their own objectives, which are in opposition, but their roles are complimentary. D/s is often constructed as fixed roles, but there is no reason that that the socially dominant role cannot be the submissive element of a D/s session.

A few role pairs: stalker/jock, captor/captive (various types), trainer/athlete, MP/detainee, warlock/subject

Role playing does not have to use formal named pairs or any sort of social script, but can just be each partner playing a fantasy version of themselves, pushing aside certain characteristics for a time in favor of different characteristics (a normally nurturing partner may try on being strict, a normally independent partner may try on being helpless).

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More on Master/slave play in Advanced Topics

Obedience & Control

Disobedience (Bratism)

Rituals & Protocol

Submissive protocol is closely associated with "old guard" M/s relationships, which prized a community-wide standard protocol for how dominant men were to be treated by submissive men. These strict protocols still exist in some parts of the community, but are largely ignored in modern individual DS practice. Protocols for interactions may be derived from a traditional template, especially in M/s relationships still, but are generally customized and agreed upon by the play partners. There is no requirement that any component of old guard protocol be included in a DS play session.

Rituals of DS play are not required, but are sometimes used to make sessions more comfortable. A ritual can be used to start each session, but then each session takes on its own personality from there. For some the ritual may be the collaring, for others it may be the submissive stripping or putting on a specific item.

Punishment

Orgasm Control & Chastity

Relationship to Other Topics

Fetish - role play enables fetish to cross from fantasy into play. Elements of domination that are already present in the fetish element
Bondage - bondage is a method for applying restriction to exercise domination
Sensation/Sadomasochism -
Playfulness -

Key Idea

Dominance and Submission: The replication of unequal power relations in kink play allows for playing with power. Taking on roles or enacting a control structure allows the play partners to explore different dimensions of interaction.

Quiz

How do you experience your relationship to the concept of control?
DS can be a scary topic to approach. What do you find most challenging about approaching it? What is most intriguing to you? (if any)
Can you think of a performed role that interests you? What aspects of the role would you most enjoy playing?

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